Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
