Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
This toilet bowl is my home.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
