i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
