It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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