YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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