i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize