just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
