u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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