we're chasing vodka with high fives
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
