did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
its not stalking. its research.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
