It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
