i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
