Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She announced her abortion via fbk
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
