What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
