I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
