i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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