Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
