i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i out mim tonsoeep
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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