If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
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