and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
