We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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