Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
