i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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