He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
