I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
