We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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