I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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