He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize