so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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