Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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