Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
