I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize