Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
