your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Non-Jews are for practice
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
