my sisters under your porch take her home
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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