Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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