the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
