i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize