I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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