White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
In America we eat man semen.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
