You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
