You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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