I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
How's work?
Spinning.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
