brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
