He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
