So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
