Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
