Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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