We're like a lot better than the average bears
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
