We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just found puke in my bra..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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