Ambien. No doubt about it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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