So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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