you guys were way drunker than both of me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
