If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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