It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
