let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I need moral support for this bender
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
