in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
