sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
