hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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