Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I DEMAND FORESKIN
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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