If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
