He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
