is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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