Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
