If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
